Tag Archive for: Cursed

Sandbox Contraband Sweep 05/08/2019

These items were found during a #ContrabandSweep near the #Sandbox during #OpInhumanity.
Safely taken off the fairgrounds and disposed of.

Debrief from Constabule Kane Banneret on objects recovered:

  • aggressive-looking wooden man (detained for questioning);
  • abused slinky (slonked);
  • brush (cruel);
  • false garlic (insensitive);
  • balls made out of things that should not be balls (wax, elastic bands);
  • illegally imported tonic paste rendered from endangered species (forwarded to active Constaboxulory Council investigation)

all the images i used to photoshop together that abomination on the homepage

Not that anybody is, but in case you’re wondering: Here’s how I crafted the unholy, unliving thing which greets weary visitors upon reaching the homepage – Frey, the Machination.

So basicaly, I just started rippin shit together in Photoshop and using every tool, filter, and panel available. Hell, maybe I should actually make a tutorial on that… But not right now. Where was I?

Right, ok then I saved each segment of the body as separate PNGs and used tinypng.com to compress them to load more quickly. Then came the tedious part.

The Advanced LayerSlider WP plugin is an amazing tool and shockingly effective but damn if it isn’t an ineffective animation tool. It’s all tweaking numbers and percentages to make the damn things move, it’s hard to keep everything where you want it to be. That said, I did clearly succeed to some extent.

You may notice that it looks a bit different on different sized screens, that’s because I actually made an alternate version of the slider which only appears on mobile in order to be more easily used on smartphones and tablets.

Uh… so here’s most of the random images I Frankenstein’d together to make that thing (the hair and headset are just from an old photo of me):

Three Paintings




Monkey Children [8-Bit Version]

Full title: I’m Gonna Eat Your Monkey Children

Music by: Stephen “Stev the Grogmeister” Rieger

Video by: Carter “KrotoR” Lovelace


I’m gonna eat your monkey children,
They’re gonna eat your monkey children,
I’m gonna eat your monkey children,
We’re gonna eat your monkey children, yeah!

Legbeard the Pirate


From the archives: a cursed toon from my early adolescence.