time to wake up

Carter’s Valet Service

Thought Process Quadrants

Challenging
Not
Challenging
Interesting ▸ Exciting Relaxing
Not
Interesting ▸
Stressful Boring

It really do be like dat sometimes

Squish! – An Art Challenge

After seeing an art challenge posted by my ol buddy Enzo (click here to view), I decided to try my hand at this fun little skill-testing feat and made the image you see before you. I didn’t really have a character to hand at the time so I just doodled a lil self-portrait on the spot.

The goal of the challenge is to sketch a really squished version and a really elongated version of your OC, then use the transform tool to stretch the sketches to roughly the proportions they would normally appear to be. From there, you use the transformed versions of your sketches as a base to finish 2 drawings. This can have some pretty interesting results!

If you’d like to try it for yourself, you can share your Squish challenge drawings on this CyberForum post!

Llasfigha [Un-Wiki]

“The People’s Cannon” – Dungeons & Dragons

Dungeon Masters hate them: How one party converted 15 filthy peasants into an over-powered railgun of death using 1 weird trick!

Not to be confused with “The People’s Cannon”, a Magic the Gathering deck using a similarly OP dynamic.

The past weekend, I attended the third annual Queen City Anifest as a volunteer. I walked the perimeter and handed out water to vendors mostly, and had a pretty good time. After my shift, I sat down at the D&D table and joined a rousing game.
We stayed to talk to the Dungeon Master after the game. During our conversation, he described the time he experienced what may well be one of the most hilarious, game-breaking logic bugs ever encountered. This super-combo move is called “The People’s Cannon” (or as I like to call it, “The Caber Toss of Doom”).

It really just boils down to the interaction between 2 rules:

  1. Players with high charisma can ask villagers to do simple tasks.
  2. Simple actions – such as passing a 10 foot pole – take 1 second of in-game time to complete.

Firing the Cannon:

  • Two players request something like 15 villagers to follow them to the lair of some incredibly powerful monster.
  • Once the monster is in sight, a player requests the villagers stand single file with 10 feet between each.
  • The players then stand at either end of the line and instruct the villagers to pass on whatever is handed to them.
  • The first player passes a 10-foot pole to the first villager, who then passes it to the next, and so on.
    (Remember, only 1 second passes between when the first player hands off the pole to when the second player receives it. Therefore, by the time it reaches the end of the line, it must be moving at 150 feet per second. That’s over 100 miles per hour!)
  • The second player – who must be quite strong – then throws the high-velocity pole directly at the monster.
  • This move deals critical damage almost inevitably, assuming your roll was successful.

With this method, you are essentially able to fire an NPC-Powered Railgun at will, making your party veritable gods amongst men.

It is worth noting, however, that virtually no dungeon masters will actually allow this to play out. That said, they’ll probably get a kick out of you trying. Generally, game-breaking bugs are at the discretion of the DM to fix ad-hoc.

Editors Note: Obviously, this post is a bit of a break from our “regularly scheduled programming”, but so is everything on this site. What is regular, anyway?

 

Using HTML to Make Your Email Look Fancy!

UPDATE: I simplified my email signature significantly

Carter D. Lovelace

Journeyman Web Designer | Strategy Lab Marketing

306.537.1357
carter@strategylab.ca


strategylab.ca

 


<p style="color: teal; font-size: 16px;"><strong>Carter D. Lovelace</strong></p>
Journeyman Web Designer | <strong>Strategy Lab Marketing</strong>

▸ <a style="color: #000; text-decoration: none;" href="tel:3065371357">306.537.1357</a>
▸ <a style="color: #000; text-decoration: none;" href="mailto:carter@strategylab.ca">carter@strategylab.ca</a>

<hr style="margin: 2px; border: 1px dashed #333;" width="350px" />

<strong><a style="color: teal; text-decoration: none;" href="https://strategylab.ca"><sup>strategylab.ca</sup></a></strong>

 


Original post below:


Here’s how it looks on a mobile device.

So I’ve just decided to up and write a proper fancy signature for my email, being the web designer that I am.
As you can see by the picture, it looks pretty snazzy!
Below is how it is supposed to look, and below that is the actual code I wrote for it. As you may be able to tell, not all of the styling I did carried over to Gmail but enough did for it to look alright.


May all your adventures be worthy of telling,
Carter D. Lovelace
Strategy Lab Journeyman
(306) 537-1357

[StrategyLab.ca]


<table width="100%">
<tbody>
<tr style="background-color: #111111; border: 0px;">
<td>
<table width="100%" align="center">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="background-color: #343434; border: 0px;" width="76%">
<blockquote><span style="color: #ffffff;">May all your adventures be worthy of telling,</span>
<strong><span style="color: #ffffff;">Carter D. Lovelace</span></strong>
<em><span style="color: #ffffff;">Strategy Lab Journeyman</span></em>
<a style="color: #ffffff;" href="tel:3065371357">(306) 537-1357</a></blockquote>
</td>
<td style="background-color: #2f2f2f;" width="4%"></td>
<td style="background-color: #262626;" width="4%"></td>
<td style="background-color: #222222;" width="4%"></td>
<td style="background-color: #1b1b1b;" width="4%"></td>
<td style="background-color: #161616;" width="4%"></td>
<td style="background-color: #111111;" width="4%"></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="background-color: #4ecac2; border: 0px;" colspan="6">
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong><a style="text-decoration: none; color: #ffffff; font-size: 16px;" href="https://strategylab.ca/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">[StrategyLab.ca]</a></strong></p>
</td>
<td style="background-color: #4ecac2; border: 0px;">
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong><a style="text-decoration: none; color: #000000; font-size: 20px;" href="https://www.cybersandbox.ca/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">♦</a></strong></p>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>

The Magic of CSS: Calendar Calamity

Look how much nicer I made that calendar!…

THEN look at this absolute SPAGHETTI MESS of CSS I had to fart out in order to get the damn thing to look presentable!


div.my-calendar-date-switcher {
   width: 100%;
}

div.my-calendar-nav {
   float: left;
}

div.mc-time {
   margin-bottom: 15px;
}

#my-calendar input.button{
   float: left;
   width: 20%;
   border: none;
   background: #e25551;
   font-weight: 600;
   padding: 5px !important;
   border-radius: 100px;
   margin-bottom: 10px !important;
}

.mc-main .my-calendar-header span {
   color: inherit;
   border-radius: 100px;
   padding: 7px;
   font-size: 16px;
   font-family: proxima-nova, sans-serif;
   background: inherit;
   font-weight: 500;
}

.mc-main .my-calendar-header a:focus {
   background: #555 !important;
   color: #fff !important;
}

a.list.mcajax {
   padding: 7px;
}

.mc-main .my-calendar-header a {
   background: #f0f0f0;
   color: #555;
   border: none;
   border-radius: 100px;
   font-size: 16px;
   font-family: proxima-nova, sans-serif;
   font-weight: 500;
   text-decoration: none !important;
}

.mc-main .mc-time .month {
   border-radius: 100px 0px 0px 100px;
   border-right: 1px solid #efefef;
   padding: 7px;
   font-size: 16px;
}

.mc-main .mc-time .week {
   border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px;
   border-right: 1px solid #efefef;
   border-left: 1px solid #555;
   padding: 7px;
   font-size: 16px;
}

.mc-main .mc-time .day {
   border-radius: 0px 100px 100px 0px;
   border-left: 1px solid #555;
   padding: 7px;
   font-size: 16px;
}

span.mc-date {
   border-radius: 5px;
}

select#my-calendar-month, select#my-calendar-year {
   border-radius: 100px !important;
   width: 50%;
}

.mc-main td .event-title {
   border-radius: 5px;
   border: 1px solid #555;
}

Sandbox Contraband Sweep 05/08/2019

These items were found during a #ContrabandSweep near the #Sandbox during #OpInhumanity.
Safely taken off the fairgrounds and disposed of.


Debrief from Constabule Kane Banneret on objects recovered:

  • aggressive-looking wooden man (detained for questioning);
  • abused slinky (slonked);
  • brush (cruel);
  • false garlic (insensitive);
  • balls made out of things that should not be balls (wax, elastic bands);
  • illegally imported tonic paste rendered from endangered species (forwarded to active Constaboxulory Council investigation)

Top 7 Reasons to Visit the Human Sandbox

  • No. 1

    Automated stage shows running 24/7 🎭

  • No. 2

    The robots have human souls 👻👻🤖

  • No. 3

    The rides make interesting noises

  • No. 4

    It is wet and smells of mildew and rust 🌺👃

  • No. 4

    Get out of the sun! The Human Sandbox is always overcast!

  • No. 6

    We will feed you. 🐀

  • No. 7

    🦶

Lil Fella

An fan art for Lil Fella, a character by FireBlade aka Dingle Cringle.

“What teh fuck is this curse you have just brought upon this land.”
-Dingle Cringle

Here’s a drawing of Lil Fella from the original artist:

Human*

It’s not a story/it’s an aesthetic;
“Hello, fellow humans”
(sandbox storage facility)

all the images i used to photoshop together that abomination on the homepage

Not that anybody is, but in case you’re wondering: Here’s how I crafted the unholy, unliving thing which greets weary visitors upon reaching the homepage – Frey, the Machination.

So basicaly, I just started rippin shit together in Photoshop and using every tool, filter, and panel available. Hell, maybe I should actually make a tutorial on that… But not right now. Where was I?

Right, ok then I saved each segment of the body as separate PNGs and used tinypng.com to compress them to load more quickly. Then came the tedious part.

The Advanced LayerSlider WP plugin is an amazing tool and shockingly effective but damn if it isn’t an ineffective animation tool. It’s all tweaking numbers and percentages to make the damn things move, it’s hard to keep everything where you want it to be. That said, I did clearly succeed to some extent.

You may notice that it looks a bit different on different sized screens, that’s because I actually made an alternate version of the slider which only appears on mobile in order to be more easily used on smartphones and tablets.

Uh… so here’s most of the random images I Frankenstein’d together to make that thing (the hair and headset are just from an old photo of me):

BillyBilly (Signal Return 01)

As a spin-off of The Minute Hour’s “Mighty Lighthouse” program, Angelboy decided to create an audio-visual series featuring sound, music, and other audio created by Electrolites like myself. In the inaugural episode, I was featured twice for my “BillyBilly” series of sketches.

Timestamps:

  • 7:468:53 – “billy billy: coffee” by carter lovelace (visuals by don housesettler)
  • 14:1114:52 – “billy billy: nightmare” by carter lovelace (animated visuals by arthur hickman/background visuals by moxiefamous)

The Minute Mint

Submitted to The Mighty Lighthouse, unfortunately this one didn’t make the cut.
Ah well, I still like it.

Three Paintings

Turnip

Suncube

Polyp


The Wretched Sac (Published)

This beast of no realm was what originally brought me to the attention of Angelboy Discoman, the creator of The Minute Hour. I had shared it in Umami Animations’ Discord server, where the big man himself stumbled across it. Subsequently. he invited me to join the ranks of his Electrolites in the official Minute Hour Discord Server by publishing my artwork in his art magazine “The Mighty Lighthouse”.

Read the ‘Zine here:
Volume 2 – Issue 2

 

Here’s the original sketch as well as an alternate/colored version of the art:


Making Peking Duck – “Honk Chef”

It took 9 hours, countless ingredients, and a whole ass air compressor to pull it off, but the results were amazing!

In 2018, I was a member of a Discord server known as the “Honk Lounge”, wherin I decided to run my mouth against a member with the role of “Master Chef”, leading to a challenge I just could not refuse.
You heard me right: This whole thing was done as an exercise in ego boosting, putting my money where my mouth was.

This video was meant to feature both my entry and Huahua’s entries edited together like a cooking challenge show (hence the opening animation) but that ended up being too difficult to cut together using just a short, static photo of Huahua issuing the original challenge and 2 photos of his completed dish.

Earl the Seagull (Mini-Documentary)

In July of 2014, I visited Niagara Falls, Canada with my family and – as I was wont to do – I spent the majority of the trip with one eye glued to the viewfinder of my video camera. The footage has subsequently spent the nearly half-decade since the trip gathering dust in a nested folder alongside all the other random photos and video clips I’ve taken throughout my life.

Recently, I was reviewing the clips on a nostalgia trip, reminiscing back to my awkward chubby years, when I noticed a series of videos seemingly dedicated to a single seagull. It became immediately obvious, however, that this was no ordinary seagull. While it lived unchallenged amongst the others of its kind, this one bizarre creature was unmistakably unlike the others.

As you can see, it seems to carry itself in a very peculiar way, almost as if it has broken wings. You’ll be glad to hear that the truth is a bit less painful. I’ll let chunky 2014 me fill you in:

“Ok, so, the seagull we saw earlier with the weird wings was called Earl and um yeah he can’t fly and he just sorta walks around the area. Apparently, he can’t feel his wings or anything and yeah, he lives, he finds food to eat, he walks around and… that’s closure: he’s gonna be ok. He’s been there for like, years (or at least a very long time).”

So it appears that the locals had taken to calling the oddball-featherball by the name of Earl. According to them, his wings were just paralyzed. Now, I’m not sure if it was due to some unfortunate accident or simply a congenital condition, but he looks to have been coping just fine either way.

It’s been a while since the video was taken, so I’m not sure if Earl is still around. But if you ever find yourself on the Canadian side of the falls, stop and see if Earl is still waddling the area.

Give him some breadcrumbs for me.

Music: “Roman Robot Statues” by Lemon Demon

Guide to the Races of the Elder Scrolls

Hello everyone, and welcome to my brand-new you-tube video!

My name is heroborn98, and I’ve been a big fan of the Elder Souls™ series for as long as I can remember. During my many years playing these interactive video games, I’ve picked up many interesting facts about the people – and creatures – who live in this beautiful universe from Bethesta, Maryland.

Just climb in back of my horse-drawn carriage, and we’ll set off on our adventure into a Dragon’s Age!

History of the Elder Scrolls

For a little background information, I started playing long ago. After they had already released The Endless Souls: Arena, I started with The Secret Scrolls: Daggerstab.

But they really came into their own, when they released Morning Wind, which revitalized the gaming industry. The fourth game they released was Obscurity in 2006. And then they made Skytip in 2011 and Skytip 2 in 2016!

The Mens

To start off, we’ll look at the group of races called the Mens.

There are 4 main types of Mens in the world, such as:

  1. Alt-Tabs (Hymen): Very yellow Mens who live on the Island of the Mens.
  2. Bossmen (Woodmen): Mens who eat the trees.
  3. Dumbmen (Blackmen): Mens who live in the ashes.
  4. Oarsmen (Orbs): Very ugly Mens who look like pigs.

But there are other kinds of Mens in the world (who aren’t very important), like:

  • Deepmen (Midgets): These Mens lived in the basement and made toys, but they escaped and now we can’t find them.
  • Oldmen: These Mens are the grandpas of all the other Mens.
  • Eyelids: The Mens who did magic and died.
  • Chipmonks: The Mens turned into the Blackmen.
  • Father (Snowmen): Mens who lived in the snow until they were poisoned by the Midgets.
  • Fishmen: Mens who live by the sea.

The Humans

You can’t forget the humans, like you and me!

The human races include:

  • Norths: Vikings who came down from the north pole. Back then, they were called ATMs.
  • British: Part-Human and Part-Mens. They are good at magic and living in the hills.
  • The Redskins: These Humans are so strong that they killed their home island and it sank into the sea.
  • Cyclone-Dills: They come from Rome.
  • Metalheads: Humans who live in the swamp with the tree-lizards (but you don’t see them).

The Best Races

Finally, there are the Best Races, like:

  • Argon Lazers: They look like lizards but are actually trees from the swamp.
  • Katshits: Bests who live in a big litterbox. They like shiny things (like the moon).
  • Drew: Crab people.
  • Giants: Very big boys!
  • Gobblers: Bests similar to the Reekers on Ash Island.
  • The Hiss: Telepathic trees who bleed drugs. They gave birth to the Argon Lazers.
  • Sloths: Gross slug-people.
  • Cowmen: Strange.
  • Snakemen: Lame.
  • Littlemoths: Fox furries who are not moths.
  • Barenaked Ladies
  • Demons: Bad.
  • Aemons: Good (and also made the world)
  • Dragons!

Thank you all so much for watching my video exploring the magical alien world of Tangerine. I really hope you enjoyed it and gained a new appreciation for all the beautiful beings that inhabit it.

Good night, and Praise the Sun!

Monkey Children [8-Bit Version]

Full title: I’m Gonna Eat Your Monkey Children

Music by: Stephen “Stev the Grogmeister” Rieger

Video by: Carter “KrotoR” Lovelace

Lyrics

I’m gonna eat your monkey children,
They’re gonna eat your monkey children,
I’m gonna eat your monkey children,
We’re gonna eat your monkey children, yeah!

Legbeard the Pirate

 

From the archives: a cursed toon from my early adolescence.